THIS POST WAS ORIGINALLY WRITTEN IN 2017, IT WAS UPDATED ON 6/22/2021
Caring for a person suffering from Alzheimer’s disease is no easy task. It takes a lot of strength, patience, and courage to deal with the difficult behavior, personality shifts, and memory gaps Alzheimer’s patients suffer from.
There are other problems as well, such as having to help them bathe, dress and perform tasks we often might take for granted.
It’s no wonder why many choose to enlist the services of a professional caregiver through referral companies such as A Better Way in Home Care to help themselves and their loved ones brave through this horrible disease.
However, if you still choose to take care of your senior loved one on your own, you’ll likely have to sift through countless books on the topic. And in all of them, a couple of mistakes are mentioned.
These mistakes can turn both your life and your loved one’s life into a nightmare. Here are the things you should avoid when caring for an Alzheimer’s patient.
Being in Denial
Anyone who’s been in this skin knows that accepting the fact that a loved one is struggling with Alzheimer’s is one of the most difficult things you’ll ever have to do. And it doesn’t get any easier with time either, especially as the symptoms become worse.
However, some people choose to make excuses for their loved one’s modified behavior, memory gaps, and other symptoms. Worse, they put off visiting a neurologist due to their denial, which could make the prognosis for the condition even worse.
And seeing a doctor in due time can actually postpone some of the symptoms, allowing the patient to live a better life longer.
Asking “Can’t You Remember?”
Of course, they can’t!
That’s what Alzheimer’s disease does to you. Trying to jog their memory like this can only provoke fits of rage and alienate your loved one. But it won’t jog their memory. A better way to try and jog their memory is to tell your recollection of the story in question instead.
Arguing with them
Sometimes it’s easy to forget your loved one is suffering from Alzheimer’s and start arguing with them when they speak nonsense. And a lot of things they say will be.
An Alzheimer’s patient may have recollections of events that never took place or mistake themselves for a teenager again. Regardless, it’s an argument you’ll never win.
It’s better to just change the subject and quit arguing. This can avert a serious fight that might ruin your relationship.
Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help
Regardless of what you might think, not everyone is strong enough to deal with an Alzheimer’s patient. At one point you are going to need help. Don’t be afraid to ask for it.
In the later stages of the disease, a patient will need you to be a cook, a housekeeper, a nurse, and more. They will also need you to stay strong for them. Not many people can pull all of these roles off.
Having someone do all the heavy lifting will give you more strength to provide moral support for your loved one. You can learn more about the benefits of hiring a professional home care referral agency at this link: https://abetterwayinhomecare.com/home-care-agencies-Beverly-Hills-california.html
*This is a compensated piece.
I think the denial is to do with knowing underneath that something bad is happening and not being sure how to cope with it – so lets pretend everything is okay (until it REALLY isn’t). That’s what happened in our family for the first year or so before my dad was diagnosed. Great advice here Rena.
Good pieces of advice. Being a care partner for someone living with Alzheimer’s disease or another neurocognitive disorder is, indeed, a challenge. Hugs to all families walking this path. No two journeys are the same, but it’s great to get “trail notes” from someone who is further down the path. Thanks for sharing.
It truly takes a village to deal with a loved one with Alzheimer’s. It’s emotionally exhausting and heartbreaking. But there are also still many moments left to be shared and enjoyed.
I lived this, as well. I know your advice is right on the money. Your patience always inspires me. But I will say that my relationship with my father got better after his diagnosis and to be honest, even better when he crossed over–we are closer than ever! 😉
Excellent points Rena! Asking for help, getting a reprieve is what everyone needs. Sometimes the loved one is more nasty with their own family than someone not related!
As always, wonderful, on-target advice, Rena. When my father-in-law began losing his grip on reality, my mother-in-law–herself dealing with metastatic breast cancer–wouldn’t get help until her doctor TOLD her to. Part of this was generational, but she felt she needed “permission” to seek a reprieve. Oy.
My grandmother has alzheimers and it’s really painful to watch her when she’s having trouble recollecting memories of her past especially painful ones. The only thing we can do to comfort her is to tell her a different story until she’s okay.