CELEBRATE NATIONAL CAREGIVERS MONTH!
NOVEMBER IS NATIONAL CAREGIVERS MONTH!!!
This post has been updated on Nov 7th, 2016. I am rerunning it for November’s National Caregiving Efforts. I’m very pleased to partner with Midlife Boulevard to bring you this very important public service information about National Caregiver Month!
I AM A CAREGIVER. I never in a million thought that this would be happening to me or if it did it certainly wouldn’t be at the age of 44!
Alot of people are under the misconception that caregivers are paid health professionals providing full-time care to someone in need of daily help. This just isn’t the case, they are like me. They not only have to manage the care of their patients but they must also maintain their own families needs and some even full time jobs. I never thought I would say this but I am one of the lucky ones. I am disabled and because of this I can stay with my own mother for the 24/7 care that she needs.
The problem is I am not alone in this. There are many, many wonderful caregivers out there. The hours suck, there is no pay and we have the horrific job of watching our loved ones fade away before our very eyes. Sound like a job you want to apply for? Me either, but when it is your loved one, like my mother, I believe that most if not all of you would choose the same thing.
I wouldn’t be a good caregiver without assistance. This is not a job you can do solo. If it weren’t for my family, friends and places that give me support like AARP.org/caregiving I would never succeed. I knew I wasn’t alone but even I was shocked to find out that there are more than 42 million people in the U.S. that are caregiving for a relative or friend. 42 MILLION CAREGIVERS and that’s just in the U.S.!
It is the most stressful thing I have every done. Caregivers are at great risk for depression, anxiety immunosuppression, cardiovascular disease, premature aging and many other physiological consequences as well as the toll it takes financially. I know for a fact that caregiving has had a negative affect on my own health in recent years.
Usually you become a caregiver after some family emergency has happened. You aren’t prepared, you feel lost in a sea of what do I do now. It’s scary to watch in my case, my mother, become the child while I struggle to parent my parent. It’s been heartbreaking. If it weren’t for the support of groups like AARP.org/caregiving and the community they have created with experts and other caregivers people like me wouldn’t know where to turn!
There are lots and lots of resources to be found on AARP.org/caregiving. An example of just a few of these include:
- PREPARE TO CARE (Caregiving Planning Guide For Families)
- 12 RESOURCES EVERY CAREGIVER SHOULD KNOW ABOUT
- 10 TIPS FOR CAREGIVERS DURING THE HOLIDAYS
Remember to:
Appreciate the good, laugh at the crazy and deal with the rest.
I love you momma!
Excellent. Am walking in our local Alzheimer’s Association walk on Nov. 15th. Soon it will be 5 months since my husband died from dementia and I am so with you in this effort, Rena. Every day I email four caregivers with encouragement.
Hugs,
Carol
That’s such a thoughtful thing to do Carol. I can’t believe it’s been 5 months already. I hope your taking care of yourself!
You are definitley not alone and it’s great that you have so much support around you to help you through this.
Thanks so much for your comments Robin!
You’re an inspiration, Rena. Your mother is so very lucky to have you.
Thanks so much Claudia…hopefully she feels the same!
Excellent post, Rena, with valuable information. A caregiver takes on a new life, one they didn’t ask for. I must say my husband has been my caregiver when I’ve been ill, and my mom is my dad’s since his stroke in 2000. The most difficult job around.
I agree Cathy and my husband is often my caregiver as well. There are days that I still have alot of problems and if it weren’t for him I don’t know where we would be!
God bless all the caregivers in this world. It is a job that is hard, maybe harder than parenting your own child.
Well I have done both Aimee and I think it is harder. Mom has had a long time to become set in her ways…and so have I!
I’m in awe of caregivers!!!
Thanks Nancy!
Caregivers DO need respite! It’s a gift almost anyone can give.
Those are the truest words ever spoken Carol!
Great resource. I don’t think any of us really realize just how much goes into being a caregiver. I’m always in awe of you.
I think you’re pretty awesome too Karen!
When husbands grandmother became unable to stay home alone due to her Alzheimer, the family enlisted in the help of some caregivers. One was a family member, the rest were home care aids and on occasion the nurse would stop by. The caregivers were at her funeral. They really do make an impact.
I have seen this too Chrystal. While I haven’t hired outside help yet it is something that I have been considering on a part time basis.
Caregivers deserve a year, not a month! It’s such a difficult job. I can’t imagine having to do this with my mom. I salute your strength and your spirit!
Thank you very much Krystal. What a wonderful compliment.
This is such a beautiful post! You are such an inspiration. Keep it up! Wishing you guys the very best. xo
Thank you very much Kae!
Thanks for sharing this list of resources. Happy month to you
Thanks so much!
What a hard job to take on. But rewarding too, in a sense.
It is very rewarding to me Amber and something that I take very seriously. My mom has been there my whole life and I feel it is an honor to be here when she needs me the most.
I am a caregiver to a daughter that has 22q11.2 deletion syndrome vcfs digeorge and she has a mild form of cerebral palsy.
I was reading your story earlier Amanda and was very touched as well as impressed of all the things that you go through and do to give your daughter a better life!
I wish I had the strength you do. You handle the challenge so well and with such spirit and positivity.
Thank you Liz but I don’t think it is as much strength as it is stubbornness!
It takes an extra special person to do this. Even if it is your own mother. God bless.
Thank you Heather. I was raised to believe family always comes first no matter what.
You are definitely a special kind of lady to be a caregiver! Especially for your own momma. I enjoy reading your heart here on your blog!
Thank you Kristen. I enjoy writing it so, so much!
Hooray for all the caregivers out there. Our family all pitched in when my dad was diagnosed with cancer. It isn’t an easy job, that’s for sure!
That’s for sure Theresa and it’s wonderful when families can work together!
As a nurse, I know fully how people in the home of the “patient” are just as much a caregiver (if not more) than the paid ones.
Thank you Stefany. I don’t have a paid caregiver as of now so I am it. We manage okay now but I am sure that I will need help later on!
It’s truly a noble job to take care of another person, I really respect it a lot!
Thank you but I don’t see it as being “noble” I see it as something that has to be done. As my mother’s only daughter that is my job to do.
I know that my mom was a caregiver for my grandma and she had not help. She lost a ton of weight and it aged her very quickly. She had no family help no one.
It is such a very hard job. I can’t imagine not having the help that I do get. I hope that your mother has improved Danielle.
You are such an inspiration, and I’m proud to celebrate you and all the millions of other caregivers this month.
I am just a woman who takes care of her momma and loves to write Lois definitely nothing special. There are so many out there that do not have this outlet like I do so I feel extremely blessed to have people online and IRL life that support what I am trying to do. Not all understand it but that is okay too.
It does take a family united to care for elderly parents or a sick family member but I do know that many day to day details usually falls to one person. Love gets us through it.
Definitely Pam! I couldn’t do this with a stranger I don’t believe. It is the fact that I love my mother so much and want to see her happy that gets me through each and every day.
Thanks for sharing these resources Rena. You inspire me!
Lana it is the friendships like yours that have given me the support and voice I need. If it weren’t for people like you I wouldn’t get through a day!
Your mother is so lucky to have you around. So many others dont have that luxury. Kudos to you!
It has changed the way I look at my health and my life. I make more responsible choices knowing that she is so dependent on me. I can’t get sick so I do whatever it takes to avoid it. You are so right there are so many alone and with no one by their side it makes me so sad to think about it!
I wish I had these resources back when my husband’s Grandmother came to live with us. I was her primary caregiver and had three children, two of which were under 3. The good news was she gave herself over to me and didn’t fight her dependence. It was hard though. And then came the pain of tucking her in for that last time. Great post.
Oh Elin! Talk about a hero! I can’t imagine doing what all has to be done plus raising a family with young children like that. I am very blessed that my children are grown and can help out when needed!
I had no idea it was national caregivers month. TONS of great resources for those who need it!
The funny thing is Amanda I didn’t either until I was approached to do this post!
Had to wait to type my response because those videos had me crying. I am so grateful that there are people like you who are walking the walk and so willing to share the talk. It’s important. It’s needed. Thank you!
I watched the videos with the sound off so as not to upset mom Diane and just watching I bawled my eyes out! They are very touching but they show the truth of the situation. One minute you can feel so discouraged and then the littlest thing can bring out a smile and it feels like heaven! If I didn’t have support from ones just like you Diane I couldn’t do this. You have been cheering me on since the beginning and you don’t know how much I thank you for it!
Glad to know you are a caregiver & I like when you admit you would not be a good one without assistance. I do understand that the stress you might go through and the mental & physiological consequences as well. God bless you Rena, with so much strength.
Thank you Lisa. You know the saying about children “It takes a village” same goes in this instance as well. Alot of people don’t have the support that I do and while I get most from my online friends and one sibling it still gets hard some days.
I remember my grandfather moving into our home, after the death of my grandmother. There is a different level of care than for a child; a lot of worry and stress. Hugs to you.
Thanks J.J. but I am sure you must have a lot of great memories as well. Those are what I live for!
I so know what you are going through, it is hard to see that parents are no longer those larger than life heroes that we had growing up. Hugs to you just know that you are making your mom’s later years happy ones.
Thanks Melissa! That is my main goal! Happy, healthy and safe!
Being a caregiver is not an easy job. It can be rewarding but very stressful. It takes a special person to be a caregiver.
In may case it just takes a daughter Ann! I love my mom and can’t imagine leaving her care up to strangers. This isn’t possible in all situations and I know how lucky I am to be able to provide the care that she needs.
It must be so hard to fill the physical and emotional needs of your mom and take care of your own needs as well. Please do make rest, exercise and mental health breaks for yourself a priority. You are irreplaceable!
I do try Patty as often as possible but as you know mom’s needs must always come first. It is the support of friends like you where I draw the majority of my support and it means the world to me
I’ve seen someone close to me go through this. You’re right it’s like being lost in a sea for awhile because it’s so unexpected.
There are so many scary moments Rosey but there are also as many beautiful ones as well. I try to remember these during the dark times.
I hadn’t heard of National Caregiver’s Month before. Sounds like a great thing to celebrate!