CELEBRATING EASTER AND SO MUCH MORE…
WE’RE HAVING A PARTY!!!!!
We are getting ready to party it up around here this weekend! That’s right and guess what? I’M GOING TO COOK! No!!!!!…you say…don’t worry my family said the same thing. Don’t panic…I got this!
Easter is a huge day around here. Especially after our non-Christmas of the past year. Things are looking good and we have so much to celebrate I mean come on it’s Easter! It’s also mom’s 79th Birthday on Friday, the twin’s very 1st Easter AND their 5 month birthday all rolled into one! I’ve invited 14 PEOPLE to eat
my culinary creations a hopefully decent dinner.
I am going to get up early Easter morning and pretend I know what I am doing when I slide that delicious spiral cut ham into the gaping hole from hell, otherwise known as my oven. I will boil eggs and potatoes until my house smells like the men’s room of a Texaco station that will hopefully turn into amazing potato salad and deviled eggs. I will become one with Ree Drummond and try my hand at homemade baked beans that doesn’t send anyone to the ER with chest pains…or food poisoning. I will even attempt to set a beautiful table with matching china and silverware. I KNOW!
We will celebrate like it’s 1999 and show my mother just exactly how much she is loved. Although, that usually looks more like KFC on Dixie plates, not this year. I will be an adult and COOK damn it!
So when I wake up late on Sunday morning and realize I forgot to thaw the damn ham out and then bake it at 500 degrees to speed up the thawing/cooking process which will then be as tough as chewing on my car mats. When someone finds eggshells in the potato salad and deviled eggs and the baked beans combust into a fiery explosion. I will then pull out my tablet and let everyone take turns licking the Pinterest screen! WHAT WAS I THINKING?????
See, this is absolutely the problem with Pinterest!!! They sucker you in. They put all of these beautiful pictures up of the life you wish you had. Then they trick you into thinking, “yeah, I could do that!” When in reality you should be saying “OH, Hell no!” The next thing you know, you’re on your cell phone calling family members up from out of state “Hey, you know how I can’t cook? Well, Pinterest taught me how and now I’m going to cook for you on one of the most revered holidays on the calendar!” WHAT THE HELL HAVE I DONE!?!
AT LEAST I’M NOT IN CHARGE OF THE DESSERTS…AND THE TWINS CAN’T EAT REAL FOOD YET…SO THEY MAY SURVIVE. EVERYONE ELSE IF FAIR GAME!
Appreciate the good, laugh at the crazy, and deal with the rest.
I love you momma, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’d love it if everyone would give mom a huge “Happy Birthday” in the comments today…maybe she’ll forgive me for the food poisoning! By the way, does anyone have some china and silverware I can borrow?