COVID-19 has affected every single aspect of our lives and people are wary and stressed. Our lives have been turned upside down and as a final blow, nursing homes have had to close the doors to visitors. If WE don’t know where the world is going imagine your loved one in a nursing home with dementia or even at home with a caregiver it must terrifying and lonely.
It’s devastating, but to keep them safe it has to be done. creating a plan beforehand can save you many headaches on Thanksgiving Day. I’ll never forget an image I saw on a show and it was a woman standing outside of the nursing home. You see, her husband was inside because he had had surgery and now couldn’t come out and she couldn’t go in. She talked to him through the closed window as they both cried their eyes out.
The first thing you have to do is throw out your preconceived idea of what Thanksgiving should be and embrace what actually is.
Both kids and elderly people sense our stress without you ever saying a word. If I was stressed about anything momma knew it and she would be agitated which created two problems.
Zoom is all we have so you need to find out what you need to do to accomplish that.
Things to ask the nursing home.
- Does your loved one have access to Wi-Fi and if so does the nursing home set it up or will you have to walk them through it?
- Does your loved one have access to a computer or will you need to provide one for them?
- Is there someone there that can help them throughout for technical glitches?
- Is there a certain time when someone is available and if so do you need to make an appointment?
- Is it possible to choose their meal or have it delivered if desired?
- Can we do a practice run before the big day?
- Will there be a lot of background noise? Is there a quiet space available for your time period?
Getting the answer to these questions can save you many headaches and heartaches on Thankgsiving.
Here some tips to help you plan out your visit and make it a success.:
- Try to recreate some traditions as best you can. Show pictures or talk about older times just remanence and spend time talking.
- Plan to have your visit early in the day. Share a Thanksgiving lunch or even brunch. The feelings will remain the same but you’ll have a much more enjoyable time all of you. Sundowning generally starts in the afternoon and gets steadily worse as the day progresses.
- Keep the visits short. Try to make your visits one-on-one if possible, as their ability to communicate diminishes as the day goes on. Alzheimer’s patients and the elderly in general get overwhelmed easily. I remember how rowdy some of our Thanksgiving was when the whole family got together. You’ll have a much better visit if you limit the number of people on at a time..
- Think about what you will talk about beforehand. Are their family landmines that you need to steer away from. Family drama is no longer a concern of theirs and shouldn’t be at this point. Keep the visits happy and upbeat.
- For that time slip into their world. Let them live the day of happy memories without the real world disturbing you.
This year is nothing like years past, but what we have is here, and now and wasting what do have by thinking about what was is just futile. Making the most of what is by staying safe and keeping our loved ones healthy is what we have to do. Let’s make the best of it for them at least.
Those are excellent suggestions. I especially like the one about family drama no longer being their concern. That’s advice we all need to remember.
Sadly i have no older relatives to celebrate with. These tips are so smart and keeping our elderly relatives safe is the primary concern.
Great post, I am sharing with others. I hope all is well on your side of the world.
These are excellent tips especially for people like me who never quite know what to say or how to act. Love the suggestion of recreating beloved family traditions.
These are all such great ideas. Of course, we want to spend the holidays with our older loved ones, but we have to be smart about it.
These are some great ideas. I do want to make sure everyone is safe.
Covid will make everything much harder. These are all really good suggestions. It’s important to keep older relatives safe. I won’t be having Christmas with my parents, might talk to them through a window instead for a bit though.
I feel so bad for people not being able to visit their relatives. These are great suggestions you offered to keep everyone safe.
All of our older relatives have passed, but I do believe that it’s important to keep them safe.
We decided to move pur celebrations to zoom and that way the family can stay connected
These are great tips to help people with Dementia celebrate Thanksgiving Day in this crazy year. I can only how imagine confusing the pandemic has been for them.
These are some great tips for those who are planning on celebrating with older loved ones. Thank you for the advice!
I used to work for an adult day care before COVID and making my decision to be a SAHM. I just spoke with them today and found out that they have still not reopened due to health concerns but that since the start of it all a drastic amount of our members have died due to loneliness. So absolutely, make sure that you are following all health code procedures but please celebrate some way with them!
This is a very helpful post for those who have elderly family members and are questioning what is best. Sending my love to those who are separated this year.
That was such a really touching scene. I may have cried if I witnessed it.
My grandmother is very excited to celebrate any occasions with us but in this time we will not allowed to visit her because of the pandemic…we surely count the days the we call hee time to time
These are unprecedented times. Having older parents, COVID has thrown a wrench in everything. These are great tips.
These are all wonderful tips for those who will be celebrating with older loved ones.
I know a few people who will benefit from these tips. Thanks for sharing this.
This is such an amazing post that really considers our elderly, it’s so precise and lovely.
We don’t have relatives in the nursing home now but I agree, visits should be short, sweet and yet memorable. Great tips!
It is certainly going to be different this year. I’m sticking to staying home this year. I would love to see everyone, but it’s best we stay home for the time being.
I like the advice to have someone there to help if there are technical glitches. That will ease potential frustration (which can make a happy moment not so happy). 🙂
These are great tips, I don’t have my parents, yes I have mother in law. But she is not with us during this thanksgiving.
Many will benefit from these tips you shared. COVID 19 is really scary and we all need to take extra careful in celebrating Thanksgiving especially with older loved ones.