IS THERE A CAREGIVER IN YOUR LIFE?
Caregiving is a hard job. You are responsible for the person you are caring for not only medically, but emotionally and physically. You always have to put the patient’s needs before your own. You have to be available at all times and they must come first in your life. The caregiver must have a reliable support system in place if they are to maintain their own health and sanity and this can be hard to come by. If you are not with the person all day you don’t realize just how hard it can be. People think that AD patients are just forgetful and yes it is true, but there are also emotional changes, mood changes and physical changes as well.
You have to keep up with every aspect of their well-being. Everything from their diet, making sure they eat enough of the right kind of foods, to their safety and everything in between. Mom is bad for turning the stove on to boil water and then just walking away and forgetting. You have to take charge of their physical health. Are they taking their medicine correctly. Are they bathing often enough, changing their clothes. These are things that an AD patient will forget. Do they have doctor’s appointments and if so what are they for and what is the doctor telling you. Did you know that 6 out of ten AD patients will wonder off? You have to monitor where they are at all times. Are you tired yet?
Luckily, right now my mother is able to do most things by herself. She can get dressed even though we have had the problem of putting the same clothes on day after day. She can fix herself things to eat. I just sit back and keep and eye and ear open to what she is doing. I don’t feel comfortable leaving her alone in the house anymore. I picture her turning the stove on and burning down the house, but she is able to do a lot of things herself. I know this will change and I hope to be ready to deal with it when the time comes.
One of the important things a caregiver can do for their own health is to get regular breaks. Some time to themselves or to spend time with other family members. People on the outside looking in don’t see the damage that is occurring to the other relationships in the caregiver’s life. Husbands, children, and friends who must take a constant back seat in their lives.
If you know a caregiver be kind. They are dealing with a lot and could probably use your help. If you say you are gonna help them then follow through on the promise. Stop by for a visit and just listen to what they have to say. Caregivers don’t get a lot of opportunity to talk about their problems and concerns so just let them vent. Stay with the AD patient and let them get out and get some things done or just visit with the AD patient and let the caregiver take a nap, or read a book, or even take a shower. These are little things, but speaking as a caregiver they mean a lot. It is reported that as many as 20% of caregivers suffer from depression.
Remember to:
Appreciate the good, laugh at the crazy and deal with the rest.
I love you momma!
I wish we lived closer — I’d come over and give you a break!
Thanks, Carol, I actually had a break this weekend besides you’re never home haha!
This post shouts “me” from A to Z. And although my mom isn’t suffering from AD the symptoms and behaviour after the kind of complicated double brain surgery (two tumors, one bigger than the other, one at skull base, which is considered the most complicated and the other one on the eye nerve) are pretty much the same. And while I’m not suffering from depression, I do suffer severely from a burnout, where my health gives in big time (menopause at 38, adrenal burnout and now the thyroid). I find that it’s absolutely vital that you keep on doing what you do Rena, by shedding some light on the hard work of caregivers. I’m not complaining because I’m just happy my mom’s alive and improving, but I know how hard it’s to take care of somebody while still having young kids at home. At times I don’t have anything left to give, to my kids and to my husband (so these relationships are suffering too), because I’m so exhausted after a whole day of care. And on top if it, we live in a foreign country, where we can’t rely on the support of family and longtime friends. So from my perspective caregiving is also a very lonely place. Which is precisely why I started blogging, to create this little sane space for myself, to just drift off in the land of humor and not think about the situation I’m in. This or a mental institution, I chose the first:)
xx Abby
Hi, Abby! Wow, your family has had a lot to deal with and I cannot imagine trying to do it with kids full time as well. At least at 3 I get to send my lovely grandchildren home with their momma or I would probably end up in a padded cell. I know exactly what you mean about being a very lonely place. I started blogging for exactly those reasons. It’s funny I actually had an appointment with a counselor to talk about my isolation and depression and all of those ooey-gooey problems that come along with caregiver! Once I started my blog I called and cancelled that appointment and that was two years ago in January. We have quit a lot in common! And here I thought you sat around drinking wine with your girlfriends!
I admire those of you who take care of your loved one at home. It is a very difficult job. A respite is needed for sure.
We were lucky. My Mother had enough money and wanted to go into assisted living at age 86. At age 90 she needed to go onto their memory floor and now at age 93 she is in the nursing home associated with the assisted living with full dementia.She is non-verbal and can not self feed or walk.It is a horrible disease!
This disease is horrible Haralee! I am so sorry that it has affected your family this way!
What I find difficult is being solely responsible for the social. I can’t be too tired to visit because I might be the only visitor all week.
You’re right that is so difficult, especially when added in with everything else we have to do. Even a phone call would be appreciated around here!
As always, you have my undying respect.
Right back at you dear friend! Have a Happy Thanksgiving!
As always, you have opened my eyes. I have always cared for children, but with children, you are usually a step ahead. And are still bigger than they are. I can just imagine advanced mobility (and height) combined with the challenges of AD. I know of two caregivers. I will definitely be more supportive. Thank you again for the heads up.
You are an amazing, admirable woman. I would be so exhausted if I was my mother’s caretaker. Seriously, I don’t know how you do all the things you do, Rena!
Hi Rena! I hope you were able to have a good Thanksgiving and am reminded once again at how challenging it is to be a caregiver. I hope that you, and every other caregiver out there, find the help, support and love that you deserve. ~Kathy
You’re so right Rena. It’s a hard, thankless job sometimes, I’m sure. Best to keep your eye out for the helpers. Sometimes they’re the ones who need help.
Wow! Thank you for this article, and your loving heart!!
A blessing to me and the lovely woman I care for.
Thank you Pat! Your kind words mean the world to me! I hope you have subscribed so you can take advantage of all of the resources in the resource library.
For now, my parents are my caregivers. But sooner or later, I’ll be the one who will be their caregiver.
The caregiver in my life now is my parents and my fiance.
With in-home care, families that are unable to serve as primary caregivers have the benefit of knowing that their loved ones are receiving professional, compassionate, and personalized care in the convenience of their own homes.
If there is. It’s my parents. They are the ones who took care of my being.
My mom is my number one caregiver since birth. I really want to return the favor.