I’VE BEEN BLESSED BECAUSE…
Last Monday, I wrote a piece about Alzheimer’s and how I sometimes feel as if I have been robbed of the natural relationship between a mother and a daughter. You can read that here I’VE BEEN ROBBED!
A new friend of mine Susan Macaulay who runs several sites including My Alzheimer’s Story, Amazing Women Rock, and She quotes has issued a challenge to me. She thinks that I was perhaps being a little to negative in my piece. She’s completely right I was being dismal as I sometimes do. I am generally a half-full glass type of girl, but there are occasions when the constant battering of my heart and soul seeps out onto the pages of my minute meteor in the blogging galaxy.
She wasn’t being judgmental in any way, instead she turned my frown upside down and issued a challenge. A challenge to take a moment to consider all the ways that I had been blessed by Alzheimer’s. At first, that seemed impossible, but the more I thought about it there were several things that I can honestly say has come directly from taking care of mom through this final stage of life. So here it is…
I am blessed… that I get to be the one she turns to for her problems. That she has the trust in me to know that I am always going to look out for her best interests. That I will keep her warm, safe, and more importantly in constant supply of unfrosted, blueberry pop tarts. (Kellogg’s please don’t let me down)
I am blessed… that I get to be in the middle of four generations coming together to love one another and take care of each other. I get to watch mom cuddle and play with her great-grandchildren. Laughing along with my daughter and I at all of their constant adorable antics.
I am blessed… that I’ve learned more about the woman who raised me as a woman instead of merely my mom. That I’ve heard first hand the stories of her youth and of a generation mostly gone.
I am blessed… I don’t have to worry that she is being neglected, abused or uncared for. That I am able with the help of my wonderful husband to provide that safe, comfortable, Poptart friendly environment for her to relax with no worries.
I am blessed… that other than the dementia that riddles mom’s mind she is healthy and happy and able to get around as she pleases. Her body is fit and she still enjoys being able to get out for an impromptu picnic by the lake or a hike through the woods. She can enjoy a day of shopping or even a county fair.
While Alzheimer’s is a scary, dark, curvy road there are times you come out of the shadows and experience the brilliant sunshine that might break through the trees for just a little bit. NOW GO OVER AND READ HER POST “I’VE BEEN BLESSED”
Remember to:
Appreciate the good, laugh at the crazy, and deal with the rest.
I love you momma!
Great list Rena! Thanks for accepting my challenge and I hope others take the opportunity to also take a look at how Alzheimer’s / dementia may have blessed them too.
#FightTheGoodFight
XOX Susan
Susan Macaulay (@AmazingSusan) recently posted…I’VE BEEN BLESSED! 5 good things alzheimer’s / dementia brought more of into my life
Thanks Susan, I really enjoyed it. We’ll have to do it again somehow!
I’ve just tweaked it and reposted it here: http://myalzheimersstory.com/2016/09/06/5-good-things-alzheimers-brought-more-of-into-my-life/
🙂
Okay…this made me tear up a little. XOXOXOX
michelle recently posted…10 Ways We Grew Up Tougher Than Our Kids
Thanks sister!
How wonderful to have a friend that challenges you! That is a blessing too.
I’m certain that somewhere deep within her, your Mom feels blessed too by your presence.
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted…Idea Factory #AnythingGoesOnSunday
Thank you Corrine!
Well, Rena, you know me. I beg to differ. I do not feel that you have ever been negative. You are a realist. First of all, your posts are far from negative. You state the facts and show people how to deal with the issues as they arise. I have never heard you complain or whine. Your attitude is remarkable. By writing the way you do, you share what can be expected but how important it is to maintain a good attitude. You do that and more.
I have never regarded your posts about your mom negative. They are often funny which is the greatest form of positivity.
Personally I do not appreciate it when people cover up what is really going on with their feelings. I did that most of my life and hid it from the world. When I finally wrote my memoir and released all that was bottled up and told the real story….. not only did it bring freedom to my life but it is when I was able to help a greater audience.
There are scores of people hurting that need to know someone else is going through deep pain and frustration. That is what the world relates to and you did it in such a way that was positive and uplifting and, above all else….hopeful.
I also applaud you for taking her advice and writing this post. That, in itself, speaks to what kind of person you are. Please don’t stop sharing in the way you do – it makes people relate to you on a deeper level.
Carol Graham recently posted…World’s Greatest Con Job – Does it Really Matter?
Carol, your words touched me more than you will ever know. I appreciate your support and your outlook and while this was a fun challenge I can only write from my own experiences not somebody elses’. So that is how I must write the good and the bad!
It is wonderful to grasp the positive in what can be an overwhelming situation. Well done Rena!
Haralee recently posted…The Perfect Summer Dress Quest
Thanks Haralee it was a fun writing challenge!
Thank you Haralee!
You are indeed blessed! But I also think you are perfectly human and allowed a down time now and then as well as the platform to spew the negative. You gotta get it out now and then or it just simmers. Kudos to you for sharing the reality of your situation as well as the blessings! You can’t have one without the other, and your readers want to hear both the good AND the bad. Hugs to you!
Lisa_GrandmasBriefs recently posted…Birthday gals, plus GRAND Social No. 169 link party for grandparents
Thanks so much Lisa! It was a fun challenge, but I couldn’t write any other way!
I’m sure anyone who has faced Alzheimer’s finds it hard to consistently stay positive when it has indeed taken so many things. I’m so happy to witness how we can help each other stay positive with dementia by supporting one another because after all we are Together in This 🙂
Mike Good recently posted…Living Positively with Dementia Daze with Laurie Scherrer
It was a fun exercise Mike, but like you said you can’t always be positive when it comes to Alzheimer’s Disease especially when you live with it day in and day out!
I think you’re about the least negative person on the planet.
While I think you have been blessed in all the ways you said—and actually I can’t get the unfrosted blueberry pop tart out of my head. Don’t know if I would love or hate it—you’re a realist.
We can’t spend everyday going “life’s so wonderful. I was handed lemons instead of oranges so let me make lemonade” when we have big real problems.
We can only try to deal with the problems without turning to acohol, illegal substances, fortune tellers etc. And when we can deal with our problems without getting crazed that’s a small blessing but we still have the problems.
You my friend handle everything with grace, joy and wit. That’s a blessing. And I hope you go on the way you are and you will because you’re you.
Hope this makes sense
pia recently posted…Be Careful What You Wish For
I have to agree Pia, it was a fun writing challenge but it is my goal to show both sides of the coin. There are positives and many, many negatives as well. I wouldn’t be writing honestly if I only shared the positive.
Despite being a perpetual optimist myself, I think you are entitled to express whatever is going on, and not have to find the positive. While your post on the upside is amazing and an indication of your loving, generous, caring nature, a part of me is peeved that you were challenged to come up with the good aspects. Like you need another challenge….
kymberlyfunfit recently posted…10 Reasons to Chillax at the Hyatt Palm Springs
Thanks Kymberly for your defense. It was a fun writing challenge but showing both sides is very important to me. I always appreciate your support!
This gave me happy tears, Rena…..knowing your mom can still get around and enjoy outings and your precious twins! While caring for my mom, I told myself Lifetime Movies every night were good for us…….it was really the discussions we had about plot, actors etc! The only way to handle bath and shower needs was humor……so we giggled together a lot. I cherish those memories now. Well done, as usual, my friend!
Joan Stommen recently posted…Stuck in Transition
Thank you so much Joan! You’ve been one of my greatest supporters and I appreciate you so very much!
What a lovely post Rena!
Liv BySurprise recently posted…The Grandmother Diaries – Memories and Deaths
Thanks you Liv! I’m so glad you enjoyed it!
Thanks Liv! I really appreciate it!
that was lovely Rena – and you’re allowed to have moments of regret and sadness but it’s nice to also hear all those wonderful positives too. I so admire you and your husband for caring so well for your mum – you should be very proud of yourselves and your love for her xx Leanne
Leanne@crestingthehill recently posted…Monday cutie #17
That’s so sweet Leanne! It’s a mixture of both and that’s what I try to share. There are ups and downs sometimes daily, but it is so worth the effort. The memories I am making will get me through the years when I will be without her.
Thank you Leanne! I will continue to show both sides of the issue!
And you are blessed for being able to turn your narrative into something most positive! Thank you for blessing all of us readers in the process. It’s hard to do this but you’re an inspiration for being able to do so, Rena! xoxo
Joy recently posted…#TuesdayThought
Thanks so much Joy! I really appreciate the support of my friends like you. I couldn’t do this without all of you!
Thanks so much Joy!
Thanks Joy! I really appreciate you!
How wonderful that your friend challenged you to do this! There is always something good in every situation – sometimes we just have to dig a little deeper :)!
Lana recently posted…Motivational Monday XXI
Yes, it was Lana. It was fun to work with someone in the same situation I am in.
Thank you Lana, it was a fun exercise!
Thanks Lana it was a great writing challenge.
Rena I am inspired by your optimism in the face of adversity. Bless you and bless your mom, and bless Susan for issuing the challenge and turning your frown upside down.
Snarkfest recently posted…Why Ashley Madison customers deserve what’s coming to them…
Thanks you so much! I appreciate it very much.
I love that she challenged you and it turned out in you writing this wonderful post!!
Roshni recently posted…Listening to kids with compassion #1000Speak
Thanks Roshni, I really appreciate your support.
I tend to agree with Carol G on this one. While it is good to be challenged as a reminder to see our blessings in life, I think you are a master at doing that already! Most of us could not face your challenges with the humor and grace that you usually do. Both posts – the one challenged and the response – are commendable.
Susan – ofeverymoment recently posted…It’s my turn to host Words for Wednesday!
Thank you Susan. I really appreciate the way you guys support me, but it was all in fun and games.
Thank you, Rena! What a difference-maker you are! Thank you for always making me laugh (and cry, sometimes – memories!)
Thank you Debra for always supporting me! I appreciate that support and friendship more than you know!
Hi,I admire how you handled the challenged. I know it was not that easy but you made it. Thanks for the great reminders ” Appreciate the good, laugh at the crazy, and deal with the rest”. Beautiful post, Great Read!
sherill recently posted…The #1 Thing They Didn’t Tell You About The Law of Attraction
Thank you so much Sherill! I really appreciate that! I hope you’ll enjoy some more of my pieces!