LAUGH AT THE CRAZY…
ANOTHER DAY IN ALZHEIMER’S WORLD
It’s 3 am. and you are probably wondering why I’m not sound asleep. It’s because I now live in a sauna. Right about the time that menopause hit momma moved in with the hubby and I. Wanting her to be comfortable I taught her how to use the thermostat. It’s electric and digital and that just blew her mind. Technology is not her strong point.
This is the biggest mistake I have made to date…and there have been many! Momma also takes blood pressure medicine and is ALWAYS cold. So every time I turn around the thermostat goes to 80! I keep it at a warm 72 degrees which to with my menopausal hot flashes already feels like 110.
Last night she was in her room quilting when I went to my room for the night so I said good night and went to write for awhile before going to bed. I feel asleep early after having both babies Saturday night but before I did I made a last check of the house. Doors locked lights out, thermostat check.
Two a.m. my husband sits up on the side of the bed and it wakes me up immediately since I am a very light sleeper and the sweat running down my body wasn’t helping. I asked him what was wrong and he answered back “I’m melting!” Realizing it wasn’t just me in this hot house hell I got up to check the thermostat again this time it is set at 90 degrees! So I turn it back down but by this time we are both soaked with sweat. We huddle in our small bathroom with the window open him sitting on the toilet and me sitting on the tub the fan blowing the cold air in to relieve us.
We look at each other in the dark and just start cracking up. Here we are two grown up, married, older adults huddling in the bathroom trying to get a real “breath of fresh air”. So when most normal people are sleeping we decide to head out to the garage where we can cool off and hold a conversation without whispering. My neighbors probably think that we are crack heads but hey you do what you got to do.
My husband complains about the electric bill and then I gently remind him that we’ll make it up this summer when she turns the air to 90 when it’s 120 outside. Strangely this calms him down. It’s amazing the things you learn to live with when someone you love has Alzheimer’s Disease.
Last week I made breakfast for supper and after I cook she always does the dishes (even though there is a perfectly good dishwasher right next to the sink) but she likes to do them so I don’t argue. There were only a few left and I excused myself to go to the restroom and when I came back everything was cleaned up…or so I thought. Turns out momma got confused about which side of the sink holds the garbage disposal. My husband spent the evening taking the pipes apart to pull out all of the junk she had shoved down the drain pipe.
The very next day we kept smelling this weird smell and searched the house trying to find the source. We narrowed it down to the kitchen but knew the pipes were clean because he had it all apart the night before. At this point, I open the freezer to get some ice for my drink and what do I find? An egg carton, inside this egg carton were all the eggshells from the eggs I had used the night before along with the HOT bacon grease which melted the egg carton so my freezer was full of frozen bacon grease all over EVERYTHING!
I don’t go back and say “Momma what were you thinking” what good would that do. I just try to minimize the damage and clean up the messes. It could be worse…I’m sure one day it will be worse but for now we’re all right. This is what I mean by “laugh at the crazy”! Can I just say, “I’VE GOT THE BEST HUSBAND EVER!”
Remember to:
Appreciate the good, laugh at the crazy, and deal with the rest.
I love you momma…
                                 can I please have my shoes back now?
Your sense of humor is a real gift Rena. And your fabulous husband!
Being a caregiver often ends up destroying other relationships in your life, it’s just a fact, especially marriages. One of my friends who is in the same boat I am is having a hard time because her husband is just getting tired of it and wants her to put her mother in a nursing home. My husband would never allow that and he loves my mom as much as I do. She has been just like his own mother for almost 24 years. I feel blessed that they have this relationship and that he goes out of his way to make both of our lives easier. I can count on him that is so important especially now!
I have to laugh if not it would probably kill me. There is really nothing I can do and getting upset will not only affect my health but her as well. If I kept it on a lighter note then the whole house can breath.
Are you aware that tribulation is the greatest teacher of patience? You have had your share and because you have learned patience you can laugh. It is still upsetting but you laugh because you understand, because you choose to. My hat is off to you. My next question is……..why don’t you buy a lock for the thermostat?
I didn’t know you could get a lock for a thermostat!!! Will be getting one IMMEDIATELY! I have to laugh, I don’t have the energy to cry!
You have such a refreshing attitude. You always look for the blessing in the trial. It’s a rare gift. Bless you! And bless your whole family!
If I did my husband would call me “negative Nancy” haha and that drives me crazy! I’m only joking I choose to laugh at the madness because it is healthier for me and her but there are days Diane where I have to go to my room, lock my door and cry. I just try not to give into it very often! Plus I have great friends like you who are willing to listen and let me vent!
I love how you chuckle at such trying times. You are a doll of a daughter, for sure. And your doll of a hubby surely makes a huge difference.
I would go NUTS at such temps. I can tell if our heat has gone up from 68 degrees (my preferred temp) to 69. And visits to my grandsons in the desert are sheer hell during summer.
Cheers to loving and laughing and sharing it with the rest of us!
Thank you, Lisa! I agree with your temperatures. My husband and I are already hot natured people anyway and if we lived alone it would definitely be on 68 or 69. That was our normal temperature before she moved in with us. She has always been cold natured and it has only gotten worse with age so I try to be aware of this when I keep the temp at 72 but I often find it at 78, 85 or even 90 and it drives me crazy. I am definitely going to check into getting a lock for it though before I melt away!
I couldn’t do this. Couldn’t. You do it with such grace. On some level somewhere in your mother’s poor brain she knows what you have sacrificed to care for her.
You underestimate yourself Laura. You of all people could definitely do this. You are one of the most compassionate people I know!
I’m so glad you have an incredible sense of humor. Grace is a good word for you.
So your neighbors think you’re crackheads? : ) Interesting.
Loved the garbage disposal story. They were illegal in NY until the 1980’s or thereabouts but nobody got one. Have no idea why–would help the bug problem immensely. So guess what I spent my first year here doing? While I was using the dishwasher, and washing clothes—never owned these things before.
You can get a lock for a thermostat? I’m the only person here and sometimes my house is a lot colder than what I know I set it or a lot hotter. Half wake up and change it, don’t remember….
~pia
Ha! I’ve only been called “Grace” by my husband when I ultimately fall on my ass! I am very clumsy and that is definitely not word I’ve ever associated with myself! My husband would shoot coffee out of his nose if he saw this!!!
I didn’t own a dishwasher or garbage disposal until I moved to SC! I thought a dishwasher was my teenaged kids that got paid to do it! A garbage disposal was my teenaged son! Who knew that such fancy appliances existed!!!!
I haven’t started having hot flashes yet, and I’m always cold. I’m with your mom – 90 sounds wonderful! Your ability to laugh is wonderful, and believe it or not, you will look back on these days fondly. Tomorrow is the one year anniversary of my mother in law passing, and we still miss her so much!
I’m just beginning to get them and I am not looking forward to the next decade! I agree while sometimes it is very frustrating I know that one day I will miss those frustrations dearly and that is why I laugh! Just think of the memories we are making. Having raised two kids I see how fast time flies and I am in no hurry for it to move forward so I just try to find some enjoyment out of each day, sometimes it’s easier said than done.
It’s great that you take these things in your stride and laugh about it!! After all, what’re you gonna do?! 🙂 Truly commiserate about the hot flashes – am dreading the time I’ll be having those soon!!
The hot flashes are a relatively new development for me but I’m sure I have a long time to appreciate them…NOT! Like you said, “What are you gonna do?!?” That’s exactly it nothing I do will change her behavior the only thing I can change is how I react and that sets the tone for the whole house. Laughter makes for better digestion haha and it causes less lines and we’ll all live longer. Less stress=happier life!
So glad that you can laugh. Egg shells and bacon grease in the freezer do not sound fun. Neither does having to take apart the pipes. Your husband gets a gold star – and so do you!
Haha! We figure it could always be worse!