Mom hasn’t had a good today either, must be something in the air. She has asked me the same two questions all day. I am trying to interpret them, I am just not coming up with anything. I got stuff out to make a cake since this usually makes her happy, but I could see early on that it wasn’t going to work and had to help her through all the steps. It didn’t help that we picked up a different kind of mix. One that used butter instead of oil and this threw her way off. A difference in the routine doesn’t matter how big or how small makes a big difference with her. We made a pineapple upside down cake which is my favorite and it turned out good, so I appreciated it so much and I ate a huge piece when it cooled off.

I decided not to press my luck any further today, so we are going out to dinner. There is a place down the road that I have only been to once. They have some great fish, which is mom’s favorite so I am taking her there tonight. In South Carolina seafood restaurants, for the most part are called ‘fish camps‘. It took me two years to realize that a ‘fish camp” was actually a place where anybody could eat at and not some kind of private club. This one has an enclosed room that sits out on a lake that we love to walk around, so I’m hoping she will enjoy herself.

I have to be careful choosing where we eat, several places have not worked for us. She will get quiet and say things like “They aren’t going to have anything I like” or “I’m not hungry”. Sometimes she will just be silent until I go through the menu with her and try to coax her out of her silence. When the food comes she will move it around on her plate and maybe take two or three bites.

There are a few places that I have taken her that she’s ordered her own food and is talkative throughout the meal and eats every bite. We usually go to those over and over again. After reading the article in the alzheimersreadingroom.com about “sundowning” I have come to realize that the restaurants where she is uncomfortable have all been ones that are darker inside, with no sunshine and only small lights above the table. The ones she does fine in are lighter, with plenty of windows and sunshine. So this is what we look for when choosing where to eat. It makes it easier on everyone and the meal is much more enjoyable without all the tension.

Remember to:

Appreciate the good, laugh at the crazy and deal with the rest.

I love you momma!