REMEMBERING THE PAST THROUGH ALZHEIMER’S
I am always amazed at the amount of damage that Alzheimer’s causes. How does it decide which memories go and which stay around for a little longer? My mom has a great memory of the past and as the Alzheimer’s progresses I’ve noticed that the stories she tells me are getting older and older. It’s like she is remembering her life backward. When it first started she would talk about when we (my siblings and I) were little kids. Stories about the things we did and the trouble we had gotten into.
The stories then went to when her and my father first met and the dates they went on. The story of their wedding. Now though, she talks about her teenage years and the trouble she had gotten into sneaking to see a basketball game at her school.
She has become much more animated lately and that has been a wonderful thing. She laughs more often and enjoys the babies being here when they come for a visit.
On my husband’s birthday, the family came over and momma, my daughter and I cooked a huge breakfast for the hubby and the rest of us. It was so nice to have them both in the kitchen with me, even though they give me hell about my lack of cooking skills and quilting, sewing, or crafting skills. It seems that all of my mom’s creativity has apparently skipped my generation and landed on my daughter’s head instead.
After they relegated me to biscuit watcher and I managed to burn those (mom said they were just full-flavored!) I was left to supervise. Apparently my granddaughter is being groomed to take over my position! It was one of the very best days. With a little direction, she managed to make her terrific gravy for the biscuits which is something she hadn’t done in a very long time. It meant so much to both my daughter and I to have this special day with mom. She was really like her old self for those few minutes.
After dinner/breakfast, the rest of the family were outside while she and I along with the babies were in the house. I picked up my grandson and after a few minutes my granddaughter woke up. Mom walked over and picked her up. She walked around and sat down at the table and you could see the years fall off of her like an old, well-worn coat.
She checked out her little toes. She tickled her feet and the baby just looked at mom and smiled doing her best to laugh for the very first time. I don’t know which one was happier, my mom, my granddaughter or me. I admit it brought tears to my eyes. It was such a precious gift for me to see my mother with her great-granddaughter and to see them bonding in this way. It brought back memories of when my own daughter was a baby.
Will my granddaughter remember it? No, but I know it’s a picture that I will never, ever forget…unless I get Alzheimer’s. Sometimes the littlest gifts are the very best things we could hope for. My biggest fear is the day when she runs out of memories. What happens then? I am learning that in life it’s these little memories that can see you through the days and weeks of darkness that are never far away.
Remember to Appreciate the good, laugh at the crazy and deal with the rest. I love you momma!
batteredhope says
March 27, 2015 at 3:15 pmWhat an interesting concept and thinking about it — I think it is absolutely true. I hope you are getting some video of these moments! What a beautiful and full day you had!
Rena McDaniel says
March 28, 2015 at 10:11 amI not much of a video person but we are taking lots and lots of pictures!
KymberlyFunFit says
March 27, 2015 at 9:20 pmWhen my father in law ran out of memories, he could still remember song lyrics. In his last two years of life, when his dementia was extreme, he still found joy in singing. We were always amazed that he could recall words and tunes so perfectly. Sing along
Rena McDaniel says
March 28, 2015 at 10:12 amMy mom is also a huge music lover and we often play music throughout the house during the day. It helps a lot on the days that she may be agitated about something else. Thanks so much for commenting!
bakinginatornado says
March 27, 2015 at 10:26 pmI think that any memories that your mom can share that make her happy is a wonderful thing. You may end up hearing some stories about her teenaged years that you’d never heard before.
I love how she responds to the babies. What a beautiful memory for you.
Rena McDaniel says
March 28, 2015 at 10:13 amThat’s so true Karen! I am keeping a journal with all of these stories in them. It was such a wonderful day around here!
ilirianwanderer says
March 27, 2015 at 11:36 pmA poignant yet beautiful post… 🙂
May the Lord be with all of you…..
Rena McDaniel says
March 28, 2015 at 10:14 amThanks so much Pooja! I really appreciate your comments!
ilirianwanderer says
March 29, 2015 at 10:31 pmThe pleasure is mine 🙂
I admire and respect you for the pains you take to care for your mother and to keep her happy.
Not everybody has their heart in the right place like you do….
Rena McDaniel says
March 30, 2015 at 4:08 amThank you so much. My mother spent her whole life taking care of 5 children. There is no way I could do any less for her now that she needs me.
ilirianwanderer says
March 30, 2015 at 5:17 am🙂
menopausalmother says
March 27, 2015 at 11:52 pmOh Rena, this is so lovely! I’m thrilled that you had that special moment with your mom. I think those babies are really helping her! And how interesting that she is remembering things further and further back. Are you writing down her memories to share with your kids and grandkids so they will have a record of her life when they grow up? I think that would be very special for them! xo
Rena McDaniel says
March 28, 2015 at 10:15 amThey are Marcia! They have changed the mood so much around here. You can’t help but fall in love with them and I cannot wait to see how it plays out as they get older surrounded by the love of four generations!
Lana says
March 28, 2015 at 2:37 amIt seems like the babies are having such a positive impact on your mom. So glad you’re having these wonderful moments with her. My mother in law spent a lot of time talking about her childhood too – and I always wondered why her mind ended up there. Have a great weekend!
Rena McDaniel says
March 28, 2015 at 10:17 amSo true Lana! I have noticed a huge difference around here since the babies were born. It seems like my worries were for nothing. I think that the reason Alzheimer’s patients go back to their childhood is that is the safest place they remember. When they are in the middle of such a scary disease the comfort that they remember from their younger days is like a security blanket for them.
Pat says
March 28, 2015 at 11:36 amThis post is so touching. I hope you are recording all these memories. Do you write down the stories of the past your mom is reciting?
Rena McDaniel says
March 28, 2015 at 8:57 pmThank you so much Pat and to answer your question yes, I do write these stories down. There are a couple that I have shared here. I will be adding a couple more in the coming weeks and will link up to the older stories. You can always find them under the tab “Mom’s Stories”! I hope you enjoy!
Haralee says
March 28, 2015 at 12:18 pmLovely Rena! When the greats are visiting and they go up to see my Mother who has dementia, she doesn’t recognize who they are but she enjoys seeing babies and toddlers. We show her photo albums and go over her children and her grand children and great grandchildren. We talk about dimples because she has two and her grandson has one and his baby son has one. She loves the dimple talk maybe because she remembers how everyone loved hers?
Rena McDaniel says
March 28, 2015 at 9:00 pmMom loves having the babies here Haralee and thanks so much. Although when they aren’t here she asks me all the time if Izzy is still in the hospital. Today when my daughter and husband came in carrying the car seats she said, “Oh my God, you’ve got two of them as if she had never seen them before even though they had just been here the day before. She goes back and forth and every time they come it’s like they are being introduced to her all over again. Such a strange world Alzheimer’s but all you can do is go along with whatever she says.
Carolann says
March 28, 2015 at 11:01 pmYou’re so right Rena – it’s the little memories that mean so very much. What a touching story you shared with us. It’s such a blessing how babies have such a huge impact on us all. When my dad passed last year, he suffered from dementia and it was so very heartbreaking. It was the little moments that meant so very much in the end for us all. Thanks for sharing this.
Rena McDaniel says
March 29, 2015 at 7:57 amThere are so many terrible things relating to Dementia/Alzheimer’s that it makes it even more important to enjoy those little beautiful moments. Thank you so very much for you comments.