TDAC TURNS 1 TODAY!!!!
While I never thought that I would be here this long. I DEFINITELY didn’t think that any of YOU would be here this long. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sticking around as I fumble my way through all of the crazy and find out who I really am.
Everyday I wait for some sign that will tell me the Alzheimer’s Disease is getting worse. Sometimes I see it plain as day and other’s, I don’t see it at all. I feel like I have a handle on it today, in this moment but I also know that tomorrow could be a completely different story. If you are interested in reading that very first story, the very beginning, it is right HERE if not let’s just celebrate like it’s 1999!!!!
As anyone for miles and miles around knows, I gained two new grandbabies in this past year. That has made me so happy I cannot even begin to express those emotions! I look at those two little faces a little alike but a whole lot different and I fall in love every single time all over again! It was something that at the beginning of last year we thought would never be possible and then we were given TWO miracles!
I have made so many really, really good friends in this past year and that is just unbelievable. At this time, last year, I had 2 friends. That’s it, two and they both lived 400 miles away. I had also recently lost a 3rd very long, close friend to suicide two months before I started writing. One day I will tell you all about her, right now I just can’t. Now, I have so many women who go by the name of friend and they not only teach me, but cheer for me. They laugh with me and even at me sometimes but that so very okay with me. I am growing in ways I didn’t even know possible.
To these women I want to say THANK YOU and I LOVE YOU, it is as simple as that. You have meant the world to me. Growing up with all boys I never really knew how to be a “girlfriend” and let me tell you, I love it. I love the camaraderie and yes even the snarkiness… especially the snarkiness. It keeps us on our toes and our heads out of the clouds. We are all different and we all see things through our own experiences and that is what I have craved for so long and didn’t even know it DIVERSITY!
Last year, if you would have called me middle-aged, at Mid-Life or anything even remotely close I probably would have punched you in the mouth. This year I embrace what it means and what it stands for. I have a problem with Social Anxiety of great proportions but I am determined to get out of this fortress that I have locked myself into. I am a “Hermit Crab” as my daughter calls me. I am more comfortable in my own home preferably my own bedroom. Blogging allows me to have the company I so desperately crave but still the safety and security I think I need. Sometimes just the thought of going outside can send me hiding under the covers in jitters. I didn’t used to be this bad but it has definitely gotten alot worse in the last few years, since I got sick. I had practically given my life away and now I want it back.
You, all of you, in your own way have pushed me out of that comfort zone and forced me to examine my own life under a microscope. For that, I also want thank you. I didn’t always like what I saw, still don’t more often than not, but I am beginning to make some serious changes. Those walkathons I joined in this past year, never would have happened on my own but I couldn’t imagine letting any of you down.
I am going to my very first blogging conference, in two short months, where I will get to meet some of these ladies that have become so important to me. While I am so excited about this I am secretly scared to death. What if they look at me and see me as lacking or worse a fraud. Someone who couldn’t put a few grammatically correct sentences together if her life depended on it. There are quite a few others who won’t be there, that I desperately wish could be. It feels kind of like getting a tattoo by myself. People are busy, schedules are made I get that, really I do. I know someday we will be in the right city at the right time and a few more of my dreams will have come true.
My terrific friend and the Queen of Snarky, Carol Cassara, is doing something different this year and I am all about different for 2015. She chose 5 names (or rather her beautiful dog Riley chose 5 and I was one of the lucky ones. Must have been that pepperoni pizza I had eaten.) from her comments and sometime throughout the year (anytime she chooses) she will send them/me something special. So now, it is my turn, I get to pick 5 people from the comments below. Since I don’t have a Riley, we’ll do the name in a hat trick and I will let hubby pull them out! Sometime in 2015 I will mail you something special, just for you, from me! The trick is that you have to carry on this act of kindness! So if your interested, leave a comment down below and I will announce the 5 winners on Jan. 19th.
Appreciate the good, laugh at the crazy, and deal with the rest.
I love you momma!